


Musical Guards of Skyrim

by RainySpringMorning, sunnyautumnmorning



Series: The Musical Guards of Skyrim [1]
Category: Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim
Genre: Humor, Musicals, Satire
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2015-07-23
Updated: 2015-07-27
Packaged: 2018-04-10 18:56:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 587
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4403363
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RainySpringMorning/pseuds/RainySpringMorning, https://archiveofourown.org/users/sunnyautumnmorning/pseuds/sunnyautumnmorning
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>The Elder Scrolls V: Skyrim belongs to Bethesda Game Studios. The featured songs belong to their respective owners.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Workin' in Riften ("Sound Off")

Aye, I joined the Riften Guard

Workin’ here is not that hard

 

Used to venture ‘round the hold

Now I do as I am told

 

Workin’ in Riften By Shor! It’s killin’

 

Took an arrow to the knee

Won’t ye give me sympathy?

 

Days are warm and kinda nice

Nights are cold and bleak as ice

 

Workin’ in Riften By Shor! It’s killin’

 

Maven Black-Briar is a bitch

Shite, she heard me! Got to ditch!

 

Aye, she owns that meadery

Makes her mead with sweet honey

 

Workin’ in Riften By Shor! It’s killin’

 

Mistveil Keep has a fine Jarl

(Rumour is she slept with Varl…)

 

Haven’t had a bandit raid

Hope to Shor I soon get laid

 

Workin’ in Riften By Shor! It’s killin’

 

Over at the Bee and Barb

Ol’ Keerava’s workin’ hard

 

Haelga offers pleasures cheap

Uses shackles and… uh…*bleep*

 

Workin’ in Riften It’s… _pretty thrillin’_

 

Down there by the fishery

Everyone’s in misery

 

Skooma dealers and the like

Makin’ deals in the nite

 

Workin’ in Riften By Shor! It’s killin’

 

In the shadows rot the thieves

Waitin' till the last guard leaves

 

Watch yer pockets, citizen

They’re still some nasty denizens

 

Workin’ in Riften By Shor! It’s killin’

 

Maybe workin’ here weren’t wise

All these things I do despise

 

Bein’ a guard here in Riften

Don’t know what I was thinkin’

 

Workin’ in Riften…

**By the Gods… I’m leavin’!**


	2. The Commander ("Gee Mom, I Want To Go Home"/"I Don't Want No More Of Army Life")

They say that in the barracks  
The Commander’s really mean  
Took a guard outside the wall;  
Poor lad – he burst his spleen!

Gee, Ma, I wanna leave  
Send Da to get me, please?  
Gee, Ma, I wanna come home!

They say that when yer walkin’  
The Commander’s got a whip  
He flogs those petty milk drinkers  
And sure don’t take no lip

Gee, Ma, I wanna leave  
Send Da to get me, please?  
Gee, Ma, I wanna come home!

They say if ye misplace yer sword  
The Commander gives ye one  
“Ye dare not lose it” they say he warns  
Because ye’ll know yer done

Gee, Ma, I wanna leave  
Send Da to get me, please?  
Gee, Ma, I wanna come home!

They say these things to warn ye  
But it’s really all in fun  
The Commander is a decent lad  
Who treats me like a son

Gee, Ma, I think I’ll stay  
Come home another day  
Gee, Ma… this is my new home


	3. Workin' Down in Markarth ("I've Been Working on the Railroad")

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> "This is Markarth, traveller. Safest city in the Reach."

I’ve been workin’ down in Markarth  
Earnin’ a decent pay  
I’ve been guardin’ Cidhna Mine, yeah  
Watchin’ lads mine ore all day

Can ye hear the axes swingin’  
And the silver flow?  
Shouldn’t hear the city changin’  
Nothin’ changes in the city o’ stone

~

I’ve been watchin’ ‘ere in Markarth  
For Forsworn night and day  
I’ve been keeping little secrets  
And the truth I cannot say

Murder in the streets at night, aye  
Forsworn keeping our troubles light  
Not an honest man in Markarth  
Better keep your lips sealed tight

~

I’ve been listenin’ 'ere in Markarth  
There’s Dwemer and Falmer too  
Underneath our grand ol’ city  
Is a tomb of steam and tools

Aye, the Daedra have their hand here  
Namira and Molag Bal both rule  
Don’t be going where ye should not  
For their machinations are quite cruel

~

I’ve been livin’ ‘ere in Markarth  
Where the beds are stone  
All my friends like to come here  
Some even go and call it home

See a murder in the market  
Hear a rumour or a lie?  
Don’t be goin’ and causin’ trouble  
Cause then you’ve set yourself up to die


End file.
